So, here’s how the story is supposed to go: girl meets boy, boy and girl fall and love and happily ever after ensues. But, more often than not, it’s not that simple.
Since that is the case, should this blog be a positive one – giving out happy-go-lucky advice and charm? I’m not so sure. While I know no one wants to read angry and negative blog posts (I realize that last one was a bit on the melodramatic side), this blog should try to navigate the ups and downs of love and relationships. Needless to say this is a work in progress as I am not really accustomed to a life as a blogger, but in time this blog will have a concrete theme. Until then feel free to comment here or voice your opinions to me directly.
Life’s a lesson to which there is no textbook. We must write our own.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
It Ain't All Roses
Love sucks and there’s no way around it. Bouncing around from one person to another in hopes that eventually you’ll end up snagging your soul mate is tedious and stressful.
For example: The Date. It is a common ritual in our society, a test run to see if the shoe fits. For women, hours are spent agonizing about what to wear, only to have the guy either not notice or notice and make the wrong assumptions. Then, eating usually occurs. This is where you try and look as attractive as possible while chewing food you don’t like – because he picked out the restaurant - talking about your job and coming to the conclusion that your date, while unbelievably handsome, is dumb as a doornail.
Also, who decides what is a date and what is not a date? Is it still legitimate if he doesn’t pay or is that just called “hanging out?” I’ve concluded that this whole system is just completely messed up.
Ok, maybe I’m over reacting and just angry because my own love life is nonexistent. To that, there are those who would say, “Well, why don’t you do something about it?” Then there are others who would say, “Don’t worry, it’ll happen soon enough. Love will find its way to you.” I’ve had both said to me and I think both are ridiculous notions made by people who are already in stable relationships.
Believe me, I am into the whole “let the love in” philosophy as the next single chick, but to be quite frank, I’m a little tired of it. All the guessing just gets old after a while. As a wise friend put it: “I feel like I'm a flower and he keeps plucking my petals being like ‘I love you… I love you not,’ and soon enough I'm just going to be this stem wondering what happened to all my petals.”
For example: The Date. It is a common ritual in our society, a test run to see if the shoe fits. For women, hours are spent agonizing about what to wear, only to have the guy either not notice or notice and make the wrong assumptions. Then, eating usually occurs. This is where you try and look as attractive as possible while chewing food you don’t like – because he picked out the restaurant - talking about your job and coming to the conclusion that your date, while unbelievably handsome, is dumb as a doornail.
Also, who decides what is a date and what is not a date? Is it still legitimate if he doesn’t pay or is that just called “hanging out?” I’ve concluded that this whole system is just completely messed up.
Ok, maybe I’m over reacting and just angry because my own love life is nonexistent. To that, there are those who would say, “Well, why don’t you do something about it?” Then there are others who would say, “Don’t worry, it’ll happen soon enough. Love will find its way to you.” I’ve had both said to me and I think both are ridiculous notions made by people who are already in stable relationships.
Believe me, I am into the whole “let the love in” philosophy as the next single chick, but to be quite frank, I’m a little tired of it. All the guessing just gets old after a while. As a wise friend put it: “I feel like I'm a flower and he keeps plucking my petals being like ‘I love you… I love you not,’ and soon enough I'm just going to be this stem wondering what happened to all my petals.”
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Name of the Game is Patience
Lady GaGa calls it a love game; I call it a waiting game. The saying goes: patience is a virtue. Well, as frustrating as it is, no relationship is going to get anywhere without a little patience – the lesson of today.
Here’s the situation: you are head over heels for a guy, and have been for a while. But, he seems indifferent to your very existence. You get a couple smiles every now and then, or you two will go out once or twice, but it never amounts to anything. In my humble opinion, this type of guessing game is the worst. While you’re wrapped up in his eyes, his smile and the cute way he talks with his hands, he seems completely oblivious to your swoons and sighs. You’re left guessing - What is he thinking? Why is he looking at me like that? Oh my God his arm is touching my arm, was that on purpose?
Then this guessing game leads to paranoia and everything just goes downhill from there.
Plucking petals is not going to get you any closer to the apple of your eye. Think more along the lines of a lioness stalking her prey… patently waiting until the right moment to strike. Some times she misses, but more often than not, she comes back with a pretty prize. Check this out (only the first two minutes or so):
But putting the National Geographic aside, the principal of the matter is that it is imperative that the timing is right. So, just sit tight and let the moment happen. Don’t try and force anything. Remember that you are NOT a character in The Notebook, so the likelihood of him taking you to an abandoned house and confessing his love is pretty slim, perhaps damn near impossible.
Also, don’t be afraid to make a move. Like Bob Dylan wrote, "for the times they are a changin." Believe it or not, guys like it when girls show confidence – this is a perfect opportunity to do just that. So before you get out of his car to walk up your driveway. Stop yourself and just say "what the heck!" Throw the jitters out the window. You’ve been patiently waiting – feeling out a perfect opportunity or waiting for the right moment. Well, when it comes, don’t hesitate. You are strong and beautiful. Reach down and connect with your inner lioness. Grrrrrr
Here’s the situation: you are head over heels for a guy, and have been for a while. But, he seems indifferent to your very existence. You get a couple smiles every now and then, or you two will go out once or twice, but it never amounts to anything. In my humble opinion, this type of guessing game is the worst. While you’re wrapped up in his eyes, his smile and the cute way he talks with his hands, he seems completely oblivious to your swoons and sighs. You’re left guessing - What is he thinking? Why is he looking at me like that? Oh my God his arm is touching my arm, was that on purpose?
Then this guessing game leads to paranoia and everything just goes downhill from there.
Plucking petals is not going to get you any closer to the apple of your eye. Think more along the lines of a lioness stalking her prey… patently waiting until the right moment to strike. Some times she misses, but more often than not, she comes back with a pretty prize. Check this out (only the first two minutes or so):
But putting the National Geographic aside, the principal of the matter is that it is imperative that the timing is right. So, just sit tight and let the moment happen. Don’t try and force anything. Remember that you are NOT a character in The Notebook, so the likelihood of him taking you to an abandoned house and confessing his love is pretty slim, perhaps damn near impossible.
Also, don’t be afraid to make a move. Like Bob Dylan wrote, "for the times they are a changin." Believe it or not, guys like it when girls show confidence – this is a perfect opportunity to do just that. So before you get out of his car to walk up your driveway. Stop yourself and just say "what the heck!" Throw the jitters out the window. You’ve been patiently waiting – feeling out a perfect opportunity or waiting for the right moment. Well, when it comes, don’t hesitate. You are strong and beautiful. Reach down and connect with your inner lioness. Grrrrrr
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The Beginning
I’ve always wanted to write a book about love. I have this story in my head about two people who meet completely by chance on a metro platform and end up falling for each other. It’s one of those "love at first sight" plots, like there’s not enough of them. But the more thought I put into this love story, the further away I get from creating the characters. While I envisioned the two lovebirds to be young and hip urbanites, living out their dreams in a big city, the result when put down on paper, seems empty and meaningless. This is a problem.
I think back to the great characters of love: Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth or Heathcliff and Catherine and think, those couples could never exist in real life. The world is too complicated, too busy, too self-centered. Long gone are the days of courting and well-meaning propriety. Now we have one night stands and entire conversations where no words are spoken at all. The age of longing glaces across the dinner table are kaput. Gone and lost in a digital world.
Relationships need to get back down to basics. While I’m no love expert and anyone these days can give relationship advice, I believe that in this day and age of dating, a girl needs all the help she can get. Guys also need all the help they can get, but seeing as I am of the opposite sex, I cannot speak for my male counterparts.
So screw the love story, this is about to get real - real people, real relationships and real advice. We can’t all be Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth Bennet, but we do what we can given what we have. We survive, we advance and we love along the way.
I think back to the great characters of love: Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth or Heathcliff and Catherine and think, those couples could never exist in real life. The world is too complicated, too busy, too self-centered. Long gone are the days of courting and well-meaning propriety. Now we have one night stands and entire conversations where no words are spoken at all. The age of longing glaces across the dinner table are kaput. Gone and lost in a digital world.
Relationships need to get back down to basics. While I’m no love expert and anyone these days can give relationship advice, I believe that in this day and age of dating, a girl needs all the help she can get. Guys also need all the help they can get, but seeing as I am of the opposite sex, I cannot speak for my male counterparts.
So screw the love story, this is about to get real - real people, real relationships and real advice. We can’t all be Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth Bennet, but we do what we can given what we have. We survive, we advance and we love along the way.
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